"Sherree will have my balls if anything happens to her ring before the wedding." Moi? I'm hurt, Antwaan," I retorted. "I've never done anything to hurt you ... but accidents do happen. I'd hate to have you get involved in anything ... unfortunate." C'mon, Book," Zane begged. "All we want to know is who we need to pay back. Us defensive players should stick together. C'mon, Book. Tell us who." Antwaan pursed his lips and grimaced."You didn't hear this from me," Antwaan insisted. "If I were looking for payback, I would look at Montel Anderson, Cody Jones and LaVelle Barnett." Antwaan paused and stole a quick glance around the room. "You didn't hear it from me ... now get out of here before somebody sees us talking." You're the man, Book," Zane said. The four of us headed over to pick up our lunch. We took a different table, well away from our stoolie."What was all that about a wedding ring?" Zane asked. I related the story about how Zack Hayes "misplaced" his brother's wedding ring the. I have had sex as a woman too; it was very different and very sensual. However sex, and men, and the erotic nature of the change are not on the whole very precious to me. As I head onto the bus to ride home a man gives up his seat for me; men often do silly things for women. As convenient as these moments can be they are not precious to me. In fact a new body and life only helps to hammer in more deeply the biggest pain life gives you. In life it is very, very hard to be who you are, society tries to shape you into whom it wants you to be instead. Society says that men don?t cry and that ladies shouldn?t raise their voice. Society tries to stomp out our emotions and kill who we really are. After being changed it is worse, much worse. You see after being changed you stay who you are in your mind. Twenty something years of personal history is very hard to throw away over night. There is no magic to wearing girl's clothes, or to sex, or to hormones. Heck, ask any scientist, hormones may.
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